Monday, July 19, 2010

Seven Secrets of Happiness - Sharon Owens

A simple book filled with simple thoughts. But the real beauty is in the realization that it is far from easy to keep simple thoughts in perspective. The book I admit is a pure chick book – complete with the fairy tale at the beginning and in the end. What intrigued me was the journey between the two tales.

The story is about two women – Ruby and Jasmine who work together in a quaint shop for women’s accessories. Ruby has the fairy tale [perfect marriage while Jasmine is the stereotypical single woman reveling in her independence and life while also mourning about the lack of a man in her life, bills to be paid etc – on some level she reminds you of almost everyone you see around you. s

Then on Christmas Eve Ruby loses her husband in an accident. And therein ends tale one. The book is about her moving towards tale two.

She moves on slowly to a life on independence – and slowly learns to enjoy it. She is a risk-taker though she does not realize it. Her character is willing to just try things and see what happens. To face what she needs to face and to move on. A bit idealistic – but I am a sucker for idealism!

The seven secrets which give the book its name, are revealed through small instances. Some of the secrets which stayed with me are:
• Your happiness is in your own hands – no one can take it from you and there is no need to ask anyone for permission to be happy. And no one to be blamed if you are not happy.
• Deal with health issues as soon as you realize them – because the more you wait the more difficult finding remedy becomes
•Let go of the past
•Let go of negative emotions
•Small things count. Perhaps they are the only things that really count

An easy read which is innocently profound, idealistically realistic and femininely romantic. It made me smile. It made me think. It did not make me cry. I call that a good book.

Monday, March 22, 2010

Have A Little Faith – Mitch Albom

I sort of like Mitch Albom books – but he can border on morbid at times. His ‘Tuesdays with Morrie’ was downright depressing but his “Five People You Will Meet in Heaven” was strangely inspirational towards the bringing home the significance of insignificant events in our lives. It’s the story of someone who reaches heaven and realizes he must close 5 chapters before he finds peace. And he meets the most unlikely people of his life to reach that goal. Interesting read – perhaps best left for another blog.

Anyways, even after disliking his “For One More Day” almost as much as his first book, I compulsively picked up “Have A Little Faith” – perhaps it was the title that caught my eye. It was uncannily apt for a lot of people around me given the stage of life, current life events and emotional statuses – and of course it’s exactly what I needed to read when I read it! (Its weird how that’s usually the case with most books!).

The story (true apparently like most of his books), begins with Mitch’s bewilderment at being made a very unusual request by an unexpected person – his childhood and family Rabbi requests him to write his eulogy. Two reasons for surprise are that Mitch has been out of touch with the Rabbi for a long time – he has moved on to a religion agnostic life (like most of us) and second, the Rabbi is hale and hearty!

Simultaneously, the parallel story running is one of a gangster – who plunders, makes mistakes over and over, and keeps getting the choice to make the same mistakes again – and he takes up those choices. That is a story of suffering – self induced suffering but its depressing to read and appears totally pointless.

Anyways, in order to really fulfill the request, Mitch decides to spend time with the Rabbi and get to know more about his life. And there begins the real journey of the book. It traces questions I have found myself asking and being asked! Is there a God? How do you retain your faith in God despite everything? How is it possible not to questions things with no apparent logic? What makes people believe in their religion? What makes them hold on to it? What makes them let go of it?

As the story unfolds, the Rabbi or “Reb” answers the above so eloquently that I wanted to read more. Some small things stayed with me. One was his answer to - how can you believe in God when science explains almost everything? He says, no matter how far back you go, the last micro-molecule, the last very last tiny bit, even that big bang – it all came from somewhere. How does one explain where THAT something came from. It’s from someone, somewhere and something we do not have an explanation for!

When asked about why he leads a ritualistic life and prays so diligently despite the fact that people generally believe and propagate that God is everywhere, knows everything and everyone and as long as he is in your heart that is enough. His answer is simple – rituals and routines they keep us connected. Those five minutes spent with you head bowed, is one of surrender – surrender to a force you cannot explain but one you believe can protect you. It keeps the connection going and it reminds you to have that faith.
One of my favorites is his story of his dentist who is an atheist. According to the Reb, every visit to the dentist meant having to face his jabs about how science is what takes care of things, and how strange it is to see someone who has faith – and of course attempts at shaking that faith. Then the dentist loses his brother to cancer (I think). When the Reb visits to pay his condolences, the dentist says that he envies the Reb. Because he has someone he can blame. He says that since he himself does not believe in God, he has no one to blame. His faith was in science, and science failed him. The Reb just tells Mitch – that is a life without faith. Helpless when you most need the help.

Oh what happened to the parallel story? Read the book – it all gets beautifully intertwined into Mitch’s story as it nears closure.

A good read, made me smile because I felt better about the blind faith that I have that my life is being looked after. I need to take steps, I need to take decisions, but I get guidance. Whether of not I choose to listen is up to me – and that determines how my life will be. But I have that choice to listen.

Faith is a weird thing – it often adds to the irrationality of life and makes our decisions seem strange and complexly devoid of logic. People deal with it in different ways. For me, I choose to believe that if I have to choose between what I know and have seen tangible evidence of, and an elusive hope, I will choose tangibility. The reason is simple; there is a faith that pushes me towards that tangibility telling me that I would rather try than give up. I have no control – things could go wrong either way. The faith tells me that someone up there and some higher force will give me the strength whenever I need it. I know I am not fatalistic enough to believe that all is destined and ordained – I like the control I believe I have over things. My faith – that’s to give me strength to face life knowing I have a reservoir to draw from. For now, I will take the happiness before me. My only other option is to fret about the what ifs—and that’s a game I’m tired of

Perhaps that’s why I loved the book – it speaks of my kind of faith.